I came home, went straight to my room sat on the edge of my bed, kicked off my shoes, unhooked
my bra, and I had myself a good cry.
I’m telling you,
I cried until my nose was running all over the silk blouse I got on sale.
I cried until my ears were hot. I cried until my head was hurting so bad that I could hardly see the pile of tissues
lying on the floor at my feet.
I want you to understand,
I had myself a really good cry yesterday.
Yesterday I cried,
For all the days that I was too busy, too tired or to mad to cry.
I cried for all the days and all the ways, and all the times I had dishonored,
disrespected and disconnected MY Self from myself, only to have it reflected back to me in the ways others did things that
I had already done to myself.
I cried for all the things
I had given, only to have them stolen; for all the things I asked for that had yet to show up; for all the things I had accomplished,
only to give them away to people in circumstances, which left me feeling empty, and battered and plain old used.
I cried because there really does come a time when the only thing that
left for you to do is cry.
Yesterday I cried,
I cried because little boys get left by their daddies; and little girls
get forgotten by their mommies; and daddies don’t know what to do, so they leave; and mommies get left, so they get
mad.
I cried because I had a little boy, and because I was
a little girl and because I was a mommy who didn’t know what to do, and because I wanted my daddy to be there for me
so badly until I ached.
Yesterday I cried,
I cried because I hurt.
I
cried because I was hurt.
I cried because hurt had no place
to go, except deeper into the pain that caused it in the first place, and when it gets there, the hurt wakes you up.
I cried because it was too late.
I cried because it was time.
I cried because my
soul knew that I didn’t know, that my soul knew everything I needed to know.
I cried a soulful cry yesterday, and it felt so good. It felt so very, very bad. In the midst of my crying, I felt
freedom coming, because
Yesterday I cried,
With an agenda!
